ok no imma reblog this again because: this dog looks like a necromancer. this dog looks like he raises dead from the ground and brews potions and chants and shit. this dogs a fucking necromancer
oh look it’s the leader of the free world breaking the cardinal rule of chipotle
"Retract your arm immediately, Mr. President"
ball is life
modern-day mother teresa
one of my coworkers got a call (i work in a call center/tech support) from a customer that was really scared because supposedly the mafia was hacking her computer and they were stalking her…when finally my coworker took remote control of the computer he couldn’t stop laughing because
when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion
"And what do we say to death?"
"The fuck out my face"
Not gonna lie some guy literally walked down my road an hour ago drawing faces on everybody’s cars
What a cockmunch
Like, he could have been nice and actually wiped their cars off
but instead he drew faces on them as if to say “I was here and put effort in to do something, but it was something useless.”